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Healing is a process

Healing is a process

Healing can be seen in many ways. There is physical healing our bodies naturally engage in when we are unwell. Emotional healing, on the other hand, does not come in a one-size-fits-all package. 

Sara Alia, MC, R (Prov) Psych

We have all experienced some kind of hurt, pain and discomfort in our lives and it’s because of this commonality that we can relate to one another. 

Whether it is pain in the form of having your heart broken by a loved one, facing rejection in school, at work or among friends, loss of some kind, mistreatment or a lack of support when it’s most needed, we have each faced some form of such difficulties. 

How we cope with undesired relational events can truly impact us. Said another way, the ways in which we handle such pain can be relieving or healing. 

An important question to ask is, what’s the difference? 

Relief can be understood as a temporary pause from pain. For instance, when I twisted my ankle several months ago, the throbbing pain would pause for a moment when I found the right position to rest in. When I moved my ankle an inch in the wrong way, I was reminded of the root cause of the agony I felt; torn and overstretched muscles. As I needed to learn how to properly care for my ankle in order to bring healing to my muscles, emotional pain requires proper treatment as well. 

Healing can be seen in many ways. There is physical healing our bodies naturally engage in when we are unwell. Emotional healing, on the other hand, does not come in a one-size-fits-all package. 

One person can find healing via spiritual connection, whereas, another may feel the root of their emotional distress best addressed through supportive conversation with friends, or family. Others, need their time in nature and in a process of inner reflection, they begin to feel their inner wounds to shift in a helpful direction. 

Within the counselling context, I’ve often worked with clients whom are looking to explore the deep waters of their emotions. ‘You need to feel it to heal it’ is a common phrase I refer to in explaining the most often difficult process of identifying, sitting in and processing a feeling or emotion. 

On the flip side, some clients navigate their pain in doing some cognitive based work. We work together in learning about how painful external events can bring about harmful thoughts and beliefs that we hold to be true about ourselves. Digging deeper and focusing on creating helpful changes in our mindset about ourselves is a big part of cognitive-based work. 

For most, it seems that healing is a multifaceted process, involving perhaps all of the above or bits and pieces of such factors. 

From my own personal experience, I have found that what feels both relieving and healing combined, often begins by sharing and speaking out what has been kept inside. 

Contact us today with one of our psychologists to begin, or perhaps, begin again, on your journey of healing. 


Not at all. Everyone needs help sometimes. You may have had some skills or strengths that you’ve used to deal with challenges before, but for whatever reason, those aren’t working right now. Perhaps what you are dealing with right now feels overwhelming and you are unable to access your past strengths. Through your relationship with your counsellor and the process of therapy, you can explore the challenges you are facing and find your inner strength or develop new skills and strategies to find healing.


The difference is between someone who can do something and someone who has the training and experience to do that same thing professionally. A mental health professional can help you approach your situation in a new way– teach you new skills, gain different perspectives, listen to you without judgment or expectations, and help you listen to yourself. Furthermore, therapy is completely confidential. You won’t have to worry about others “knowing my business.” Lastly, if your situation provokes a great deal of negative emotion, if you’ve been confiding in a friend or family member, there is the risk that once you are feeling better you could start avoiding that person so you aren’t reminded of this difficult time in your life.

Every couple’s journey to finding a connection and strengthening their relationship is unique. Generally, couples will attend sessions once per week, but your therapist understands that schedules can be difficult to coordinate. When you choose to pursue counselling to create change in your relationship, it is important to prioritize that effort. Your psychologist can help jcreate a schedule that works for you. And as for how long it will take? There is no definite answer, but you can discuss your goals with your counsellor, and they will work hard to help you get there as efficiently as possible.

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