We've all been there. It's like those terrifying moments in horror flicks where time slows down. Your child wanted the blue popsicle, not red, and they're a half hour past naptime.

As your blood pressure rises, they throw themselves down on the grocery store floor like they're possessed. You hear the build-up to a gut-wrenching scream. You feel the stares. Your face goes hot. And you, my friend, are in the middle of a class-A meltdown.

This happens to everyone (no, really)

We have all been there. Even the most angelic, polite kiddos have a tantrum once in a while. It can bring about a slew of yucky emotions: panic, frustration, rage, and even tears (not just from the little ones).

"You love your kids and you're doing the best you can, but it's not always in your control, nor can it be," says Robyn Manzano, Clinic Director and Registered Psychologist with Refresh Counselling Services Inc. in Calgary. "Kids will have tantrums or meltdowns to varying degrees where you don't get to pick the time, duration, or location... and it doesn't necessarily reflect how you are as a parent."

What to do in the first 60 seconds

That first minute of a meltdown is crucial. It sets the tone for how the situation will play out.

Step one: Regulate yourself

Take a deep breath, try to relax your body and tell yourself something encouraging like, "They're not giving me a hard time—they're having a hard time."

Manzano agrees. "Children's big emotions in meltdowns are messy and will trigger and test a parent's emotions. You need to create and hold more realistic expectations of the child. Kids are not born with all the skills to manage and regulate emotions, and they need help doing so."

Step two: Guide your child through their sudden storm of emotions.

Easier said than done, I know, but it's all about leading with assurance. Get down to their level, make eye contact, and use a gentle but firm voice.

"Express that you understand what a tough time they are having, and acknowledge and validate their feelings," Manzano says. "More often than not, a few mixed feelings are happening. Naming some of the emotions can already start to bring down the edge, and you don't need to get it right—children often let you know! Then it's about validating in a tentative, curious tone that can be effective in bringing them down. Meet the emotional need and problem solve if necessary."

She added this friendly reminder: "Sometimes our reactions to our kids' big feelings can pour more gas on the fire instead of water."

Michele is a mom who gets down at their level and looks into her child's eyes when they're struggling. "I validate their feelings and explain what we can and can't do right now."

Step three: Show them that their emotions don't scare you

Mom Anna-Maria says she allows the tantrum to finish on its own. "The release of crying at the end is so important. I try to be the calm in the storm by reassuring them that I am there and I am not afraid of their big feelings."

How to handle the judgy onlookers

Ah, yes, those withering stares from onlookers. The pressure parents feel when their child is having an outburst can increase tenfold when others are gawking at them. I know from experience that when a child gets rowdy in church or a "quieter" setting, I go out of my way to divert my eyes or—I give them a look of encouragement.

"For every one person who expresses displeasure, there are many more who are empathizing and totally understand that messy emotions happen," Manzano says. "Judgment from others says more about the people doing the judging than you as a parent. Anyone and everyone who has raised children or been in the presence of children knows that this is normal and just comes with the territory."

Mom Anne Marie says she doesn't care what others around her are thinking. "Judging others is just a way to put others down to lift yourself up," she explains. "I ignore everything and everyone around us, and just focus on my child."

If you need to leave, that's okay too

Sometimes, it's just easier for everyone to leave the situation, and that's perfectly fine. You're not giving up. When both you and your child are struggling to manage your emotions, a change of scenery can be a good reset.

Leaving isn't giving in, it's parenting with clarity. It's finding a new space to sort through the tough feelings. Leave the store and go to the car to calm down. Step outside into the backyard to escape the confines of the house and discuss whatever it is your child is upset about. Switch it up.

What to do after the meltdown

Once everyone has calmed down, it's time to recap. This is the best way to teach your child about emotional regulation and to work through all the feels that just went down.

"Meltdowns and tantrums indicate that something doesn't feel good or right in their systems, and it can be an opportunity for parents to build a stronger emotional connection and closeness in the parent-child relationship," Manzano explains. "It can help to foster trust and knowing that mom and dad are here with you, you are not alone, we want to understand, and we will try to help. Each time is a learning experience, and they can feel better and more effective in handling their emotions."

Of course, even after the tears are over and the air is calm again, you might still feel a bit wrung out yourself. That’s where taking a moment to regroup and give yourself a mental pep talk can help you reset—so you’re not carrying the weight of this meltdown into the rest of your day.

Things to tell yourself after a public tantrum

• "They're little. I'm learning."
• "I did better than last time."
• "There's always tomorrow."
• "They're not giving me a hard time—they're having a hard time."
• "I'm doing my best and that is enough."
• "I am not responsible for my child's emotions, but I can help manage them."