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We have ALL lost our temper at some point in the past.  There is nothing wrong about being angry as long as it remains constructive rather than destructive. The good news is that it is possible to learn to control destructive anger before it starts controlling us.  Krisztina offers a few recommendations for what to do to help with these emotions.

Handling anger in a healthy (and funny) way

Krisztina Kelemen, MA R. (Prov) Psych

Have you ever lashed out in anger in such a strong way that it started causing issues in your health, personal relationships, at work and overall, in the quality of your life?
Anger is in fact a healthy emotion that sends us signals about feeling threatened or attacked. Some of us may get angry when we feel frustrated or powerless. Others get angry when they feel they are losing control over certain things. 

There is nothing wrong about being angry as long as it remains constructive rather than destructive. The good news is that it is possible to learn to control destructive anger before it starts controlling us. Here are a few steps to start with:

1, Know your anger signs: These are the signs that you notice in your body and mind when you start feeling angry. Do you start sweating and your face is getting hot? Does your heart start pounding fast, and your thoughts are racing in your mind? These signs are different for everyone. Take a minute to recognize your own ones.
2, Remember to stop when angry: when you notice your anger signs, take a minute to stop, take a deep breath while asking yourself: why am I angry and what exactly am I feeling and thinking?
3, Ask yourself: what is the best action I should take to feel better and not hurt myself or others?

According to the American Psychological Association, there are other simple strategies available to keep your anger under control such as\

1, Relaxation: breathe deeply right form your “gut” rather than your chest. Choose a calming phrase like “take it easy” and slowly repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. 
2, When in a heated discussion, slow down and think through your response instead of saying the first thing that comes to your mind. At the same time, focus on listening actively to what the other person is saying.
3, As funny as it sounds, using humor can help to not take ourselves too seriously. Next time when you get angry at someone and call them a name, try to imagine what that word would literally look like. For instance, when you think of a co-worker as a “Potato Head”, imagine a giant potato sitting at your co-worker’s desk, talking to you and others, and eating their lunch. This should decrease the rage you are feeling at the moment and may even make you laugh!

The more you practice these techniques in your daily life, the more you will be able to use them automatically in any tense situation.
Working with a Refresh Psychologist can help you learn even more tools to keep your anger under control and through that, to improve your quality of life. Please reach out to book an appointment or a complimentary 20-minute consultation to support you in your healing journey.

Not at all. People who ask for help know when they need it and have the ability to reach out. Everyone needs help now and then. You already have some strengths that you’ve used before, that for whatever reason aren’t working right now. Perhaps this problem feels overwhelming and is making it difficult to access your past strengths. In our work together, I’ll help you identify what those strengths are and how to implement them again in what is happening now.

Not at all. Everyone needs help sometimes. You may have had some skills or strengths that you’ve used to deal with challenges before, but for whatever reason, those aren’t working right now. Perhaps what you are dealing with right now feels overwhelming and you are unable to access your past strengths. Through your relationship with your counsellor and the process of therapy, you can explore the challenges you are facing and find your inner strength or develop new skills and strategies to find healing.


The difference is between someone who can do something and someone who has the training and experience to do that same thing professionally. A mental health professional can help you approach your situation in a new way– teach you new skills, gain different perspectives, listen to you without judgment or expectations, and help you listen to yourself. Furthermore, therapy is completely confidential. You won’t have to worry about others “knowing my business.” Lastly, if your situation provokes a great deal of negative emotion, if you’ve been confiding in a friend or family member, there is the risk that once you are feeling better you could start avoiding that person so you aren’t reminded of this difficult time in your life.

A typical session is 60 minutes but depending on the presenting concerns and the size of your family, it may be suggested to have 90-minute sessions. The length and frequency of sessions will be collaboratively determined with your psychologist.

Unfortunately, this is not possible to say on a general FAQs page. Everyone’s circumstances are unique to them and the length of time therapy can take to allow you to accomplish your goals depends on your desire for personal development, your commitment, and the factors that are driving you to seek therapy in the first place.

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