We have ALL lost our temper at some point in the past. There is nothing wrong about being angry as long as it remains constructive rather than destructive. The good news is that it is possible to learn to control destructive anger before it starts controlling us. Krisztina offers a few recommendations for what to do to help with these emotions.
Handling anger in a healthy (and funny) way
Krisztina Kelemen, MA R. (Prov) Psych
Have you ever lashed out in anger in such a strong way that it started causing issues in your health, personal relationships, at work and overall, in the quality of your life?
Anger is in fact a healthy emotion that sends us signals about feeling threatened or attacked. Some of us may get angry when we feel frustrated or powerless. Others get angry when they feel they are losing control over certain things.
There is nothing wrong about being angry as long as it remains constructive rather than destructive. The good news is that it is possible to learn to control destructive anger before it starts controlling us. Here are a few steps to start with:
1, Know your anger signs: These are the signs that you notice in your body and mind when you start feeling angry. Do you start sweating and your face is getting hot? Does your heart start pounding fast, and your thoughts are racing in your mind? These signs are different for everyone. Take a minute to recognize your own ones.
2, Remember to stop when angry: when you notice your anger signs, take a minute to stop, take a deep breath while asking yourself: why am I angry and what exactly am I feeling and thinking?
3, Ask yourself: what is the best action I should take to feel better and not hurt myself or others?
According to the American Psychological Association, there are other simple strategies available to keep your anger under control such as\
1, Relaxation: breathe deeply right form your “gut” rather than your chest. Choose a calming phrase like “take it easy” and slowly repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
2, When in a heated discussion, slow down and think through your response instead of saying the first thing that comes to your mind. At the same time, focus on listening actively to what the other person is saying.
3, As funny as it sounds, using humor can help to not take ourselves too seriously. Next time when you get angry at someone and call them a name, try to imagine what that word would literally look like. For instance, when you think of a co-worker as a “Potato Head”, imagine a giant potato sitting at your co-worker’s desk, talking to you and others, and eating their lunch. This should decrease the rage you are feeling at the moment and may even make you laugh!
The more you practice these techniques in your daily life, the more you will be able to use them automatically in any tense situation.
Working with a Refresh Psychologist can help you learn even more tools to keep your anger under control and through that, to improve your quality of life. Please reach out to book an appointment or a complimentary 20-minute consultation to support you in your healing journey.