My Kid Is A Teenager Now! What Should I do?

So, your kid’s officially a teenager. Welcome to the land of eye rolls, closed doors, and music that sounds like noise to you. It’s a new phase, and while it might feel like you’re navigating uncharted territory, you’re not alone. Here’s some advice to help you get through these years with your sanity (mostly) intact.

1. Prepare for the Mood Swings
Teenagers can go from sweet to sassy in the blink of an eye. One minute they’re telling you all about their day, and the next, they’re stomping off because you asked a simple question. It’s normal—a little frustrating, but normal. Just try to stay calm and remember that their brain is still figuring things out.  A little bit of grace and understanding actually goes a long way.  

2. Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Talking to your teenager can sometimes feel like trying to crack a secret code. The trick? Stay open, and don’t push too hard. Ask questions, but be ready for one-word answers. When they do decide to share, listen without jumping in with advice right away (actually a good skill in general). Sometimes they just need to vent, not hear a solution - don't we all?

3. Set Boundaries, But Be Fair
Teenagers need rules, even if they act like they don’t. The key is to be consistent but fair. Involve them in setting the boundaries so they feel like they have some control. When they know the consequences and that you’ll follow through, it helps keep things on track (most of the time).  Firm...but flexible.  

4. Support Their Interests, No Matter How Random
Teens are all about trying new things—whether it’s a sport, a hobby, or a new style. Support them in their interests, even if it changes every few months. Showing interest in what they care about can strengthen your relationship and give them the confidence to keep exploring who they are.  Besides you might actually enjoy paint nights in clown outfits at the hockey game...*shrug*

5. Be There When They Need You
This one is key.  Your teenager might act like they don’t need you, but they do. Be there when they need a shoulder to lean on, but give them space to figure things out on their own too. It’s a balancing act, but letting them make mistakes and learn from them is part of growing up.

6. Pick Your Battles
Not everything is worth a fight. If they want to dye their hair or wear that same hoodie every day, maybe it’s not the hill to die on. Focus on the important stuff, like their safety, health, and education. Let the little things go, and save your energy for the bigger issues.

7. Take Care of Yourself Too
Parenting a teenager can be exhausting. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself along the way. Whether it’s finding time for a hobby, catching up with friends, or just enjoying a quiet moment, self-care is important. A well-rested, happy parent is better equipped to handle the ups and downs of teenage life.  It never hurts to get a little support as well - many therapists offer a form of Parent coaching to help navigate and equip with a few extra tools to try out.

8. Celebrate the Wins
The teenage years aren’t just about challenges; they’re also full of growth and milestones. Celebrate the small victories, whether it’s a good grade, a new skill, or a kind gesture. These moments remind you that underneath the moody exterior is a young person who’s finding their way in the world.

Raising a teenager can be a wild ride, but it’s also an opportunity to build a deeper connection with your child. By staying patient, keeping communication open, and remembering to laugh along the way, you can navigate this phase together. And hey, one day you’ll look back and miss this crazy time—believe it or not.  OH and never forget, you were there too - a little empathy can go a long...long way.