Follow Us:

Validating in Conversation

Validating in Conversation

Communication Challenges is easily the most common struggle couples discuss with us.  Validation is one piece of advice that can help improve yours and your partner's conversations.


"Communication Challenges is easily the most common struggle couples discuss with us."

In my years of working with couples, I've had the chance to explore this topic further on a quest to specify: what is it about communication that makes it such a challenge for many?

I remember talking to my husband one day sharing something burdening my heart, and in hoping to receive some empathy and validation, instead I was faced with a solution to what I had presented - it wasn't what I was looking for.

Had I not been exposed to years of counselling practice, I simply wouldn't have the knowledge and words to recognize exactly what I was needing in my conversation with my husband.  I share this bit of my personal experience to say, "I get it".  Even Psychologists aren't imune and we all face the same communication challenges from time to time.

If i can provide one piece of advice to be a better communicator I would summarize it in one word - Validation.  Validation is a key element that can take you and your partner's communication to a much deeper and more valuable level.

So what is it and what does Validation in Communication sound like?

According to the dictionary, validation is described as, 'the act of affirming a person (their ideas, feelings, actions) as acceptable and worthy' (dictionary.com).

In other words, it's the act of helping someone else feel accepted and understood. Pretty powerful stuff!

In working with couples, a common exercise we engage in is the practice of validation. This can range from simple statements to more thorough statements including a reflection/paraphrase.

Here are some example of simple statements:
     ...I get that
     ...yes that makes sense to me
     ...Of course, I'd feel the same
     ...That sounds really tough

And when we include the work of paraphrasing, this could sound like:
     ..So you're saying that 'x' and 'y' make you feel angry. I get that.
     ...I hear you say when 'x' is said it makes you shut down. I understand.

The beautiful thing about validation is it can even come through our body language; the simple act of being present and affirming with our head nods and expressions can make an incredible difference in your communication ability.


Teaming up with a Refresh psychologist to learn important communication strategies and skills, such as validation, can positively impact your relationships. We can coach you at your own pace and as always, hold no negative judgment as we understand these skills take practice!

 

Sara Alia, MC (R. Psych, Prov)

Featured FAQs Section Title

At Refresh Counselling, we offer your first 20-minute session at no charge.  This is your opportunity to ask any question you would like to ask, and get a feel of what future sessions will be like.  This will also give us a chance to get to know you and start preparing for our next session.

We offer you a complimentary consultation (a 20-minute session).  This provides the opportunity to meet your therapist, ask any questions, understand what future sessions will be like, and ensure that you feel safe and a connection with your psychologist.  This also gives us a chance to get to know you a bit and prepare for our next session.

I am so glad you are dedicated to getting the most out of your sessions. Your active participation and dedication is crucial to your success. After all, we only see each other for a session a week. It’s the work you do outside of our sessions that will really help you see your personal growth and development.

Your Partner In Wellness

Your Partner In Wellness

Refresh Counselling is committed to providing the most elevated mental health services to our patients in NW Calgary and across Alberta. We promise to meet you where you are, provide insight and a safe space, and help you get to where you want to be. Take advantage of our complimentary consultation to connect with a psychologist who can be your expert guide as you journey towards mental health and well-being. Book now in Jane, our virtual system.

Gain Clarity... Find Wellness

Our collaborative team of skilled Psychologists at Refresh share a passion for helping our clients explore truth, discover themselves and their worth, and find healing as they journey towards wholeness and well-being. Contact us below to get a 20-minute complimentary consultation, book online today or call us at 1 (403) 991-7335 and let us be your guide as you seek to prioritize your mental health.

Book Online
TopServicesTeamEmail UsBook Online
TopServicesTeamEmail UsBook Online