Why It’s So Hard to “Just Stop Overthinking" —And What You Can Try Instead

 

“Just stop overthinking.”
If only it were that easy.

Whether you're lying in bed replaying a conversation from three days ago or spiraling through worst-case scenarios at work, overthinking can feel like a mental hamster wheel you just can’t get off. And if you’ve ever been told to "just relax" or “stop thinking so much,” you probably know that advice often makes things worse.

At Refresh Counselling in Calgary, many of our clients come in struggling with anxious thoughts, indecision, or mental fatigue—often caused by overthinking. In this blog, we’ll unpack why the brain does this, what keeps the cycle going, and what you can do to begin shifting the pattern.

 

What Is Overthinking?

Overthinking is when thoughts become repetitive, intrusive, and difficult to let go of—even when you know they aren’t helping. It often shows up as:

• Rumination: Replaying the past, analyzing what you said or did

• Worry: Imagining all the things that could go wrong in the future

• Indecision: Getting stuck in “what ifs” and being afraid to choose

It’s like your brain is trying to problem-solve—but without a clear solution in sight.

 

Why Can’t I Just Turn It Off?

Here’s the thing: Overthinking isn’t a bad thing in itself. It’s your brain trying to protect you—from failure, embarrassment, rejection, or uncertainty. The trouble is, your brain doesn’t always know when to stop.

Here are a few reasons it’s so hard to shut off:

Your Brain Loves Patterns

The more you overthink, the more your brain wires itself to keep doing it. It becomes a default habit.

Your Nervous System Feels Unsafe

When your body senses stress or danger (real or imagined), it can kick into “hyper-vigilant” mode. This often leads to racing thoughts.

You Mistake Thinking for Solving

We often believe if we just think harder, we’ll find the right answer. But not all problems can be solved by logic alone—especially emotional ones.

 

So What Can You Do Instead?

You don’t need to “think your way out” of overthinking. But you can learn how to break the loop and relate to your thoughts in a different way.

Here are a few grounding tools and strategies used in therapy:

 

1. Name What’s Happening

Simply saying to yourself, “This is overthinking. I’m looping,” can help create space between you and the thought.

This isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness.

 

2. Come Back to the Present Moment

Try one of these grounding exercises:

• 5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.

• Put your hands under warm water and focus on the sensation.

• Take 10 slow, intentional breaths and count each exhale.

 

3. Ask “Is This Helpful or Just Familiar?”

Not every thought deserves your full attention. This simple question helps you identify whether your brain is problem-solving or just spinning its wheels.

 

4. Write It Out—Then Walk Away

Set a timer for 5 minutes and write out your thoughts without editing. Then close the notebook. This tells your brain, “I’ve captured this. I don’t need to hold it all right now.”

 

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Overthinking often comes with harsh self-criticism. Try replacing the inner critic with a kinder voice:
“It makes sense that I’m feeling this way. I’m doing my best.”

 

Therapy Can Help You Break the Cycle

Overthinking isn’t about weakness—it’s about being human. And sometimes, it takes support to step out of those mental loops and into a place of calm, clarity, and choice.

At Refresh Counselling, our Calgary-based therapists work with clients of all ages to build awareness, regulate the nervous system, and create new patterns that support healthier thinking and living.

Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, stress, indecision, or burnout—we’re here to help you find your footing.