Backpacks and BBQs: Parenting the Summer-to-School Shift

If you’re a parent, you already know this feeling: you want to squeeze every drop of fun out of summer, but also… have you seen the school supply list?! (Since when did dry erase markers become more important than actual pencils?)

Balancing the last lazy days of summer with the looming reality of September is basically an Olympic sport. But good news—you don’t have to be perfect to do it well. Here’s how one parent (me) is trying to keep things sane, sunny, and mostly on schedule.

1. Let Yourself Feel All the Feelings (Yes, Even That One Where You Secretly Want School to Start)

Some people love back-to-school season. Some people are sad that summer is ending. Some people feel both emotions in the same hour while eating a granola bar over the sink.

Give yourself a break. This is an emotional time for everyone—kids, parents, even teachers (especially teachers). Maybe your kid is hyped to see friends again, or maybe they’ve gone full “I’m never wearing real pants again” mode. Both are normal. Same goes for you.

At Refresh Counselling, we tell clients that emotions aren’t problems to solve—they’re just messengers. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, try this: pause, name the feeling, breathe, and maybe have a snack. (Snacks fix more than we give them credit for.)

2. Reintroduce Routines Gently 

Trying to switch from summer mode to school mode overnight is a recipe for chaos. Trust me—I’ve tried it. It ended with a toothbrush in the freezer and someone crying over mismatched socks.

Instead, ease in:

• Start shifting bedtimes by 15 minutes every few days

• Try out a “test run” morning to see if everyone remembers how to function before 8AM

• Slowly scale back screen time so your child doesn’t go into full withdrawal when the school bell rings

It doesn’t have to be strict—just a nudge in the right direction.

3. Turn Prep Into a Team Sport (With Bribes If Needed)

Let’s be real: school prep is basically a scavenger hunt where you’re the only one looking and the list keeps changing.

But it doesn’t have to be a one-parent show. Get the kids involved! Have them:

• Try on last year’s jeans (spoiler: they probably won’t fit)

• Pick out their lunchbox (as long as it’s not shaped like a chainsaw or something weird)

• Help pack their supplies, label their things, and prep their own snack drawer

It might take longer, and yes, someone will probably melt down over a pencil case, but it builds confidence and reduces the chance that you’ll be sobbing in a Staples aisle at 9:45pm.

4. Talk About the Transition (But Maybe Not at Bedtime)

Asking “how are you feeling about school?” five minutes before lights-out is a classic parent mistake. Suddenly your child has 37 worries and a new existential crisis.

Instead, weave these conversations into the day:

• On a walk

• During lunch

• While driving (a.k.a. the “no eye contact” therapy zone)

Ask:

• “What are you most excited about?”

• “What do you think will feel different this year?”

• “Is there anything you’re nervous about?”

Normalize the big feelings. Tell them it’s okay to feel nervous and excited. Or just nervous. Or just excited. There’s no wrong way to feel—unless they’re excited about homework. Then you might have an alien in your home.

5. Get Emotionally Ready—Not Just Logistically Ready

Sure, the school checklist says “shoes, backpack, glue sticks,” but where’s the part that says “emotional readiness?” Nowhere. And yet, it’s so important.

Watch for clues that your child might need a little extra support:

• Suddenly more clingy or moody?

• Complaining of stomach aches or headaches with no clear cause?

• Insisting they “hate school” before it even starts?

Sometimes that’s nerves, sometimes it’s something deeper. Either way, our therapists at Refresh Counselling in Calgary can help you figure it out and offer support for both your child and you.

6. Add a Countdown That Builds Excitement, Not Dread

You can’t avoid the countdown, but you can shape it.

Try a simple calendar with stickers or daily surprises (like choosing a fun breakfast or planning a mini-adventure each day). Frame the last days of summer as opportunities, not losses. And sneak in a few “get ready” activities without making it all about rules and routines.

Think: “Let’s go get that pencil case and a treat after!” or “Want to practice your locker combo while we blast your favourite song?”

Make it a vibe, not a chore.

7. Hold On to a Little Summer, Even When School Starts

Here’s the secret: summer doesn’t end just because the calendar says so. You can still have:

• After-school bike rides

• Saturday splash park visits

• Ice cream on a Tuesday (just because)

The return to structure doesn’t mean saying goodbye to fun. Let summer stretch out a little longer, even if it’s just in spirit.

Embrace the Chaos, With Love and Snacks

This season is messy, beautiful, exhausting, and hopeful—all at once. And you’re doing better than you think.

So yes, soak up the sun. Yes, pack the lunch kits. But also: laugh when the plan falls apart, take breaks when you need to, and remember—it’s okay if your version of “balance” looks more like a toddler stacking blocks than a perfectly curated Pinterest board.

And if you or your child needs extra support in navigating this transition, Refresh Counselling and our Refresh Junior Team is here to help. We offer in-person and virtual sessions right here in Calgary—so you can get the support you need without adding another thing to your already overloaded to-do list.

...ok but Iike we said, it's ok to feel the feels...about everything...